Do you miss your ex? Do you want to win him back? Are you at the point where every love song reminds you of him? Are you tired of thinking “what if?” while going through a miss him phase?
All you want to do is run into his arms because he makes your heart skips a beat every time you see him. It’s incredibly confusing because you are hurting and whatever caused the heartbreak is still alive in your mind. You want him back because he is the one and you cannot live without him.
Well, there is good news: you can get him back! You can mend your broken relationship.
Why did you break up?
It’s possible to make your man want you again but first, you have to find out why the breakup happened. To be able to repair the relationship, ask yourself, “why did my boyfriend leave? Did I do something wrong? Did he do something wrong? What caused the breakup?
Every relationship is based on both parties feeling loved, cared for and wanted. To be able to answer the questions above, you have to be honest with yourself and willing to take responsibility for your actions and mistakes. Repairing the damage done will be the first step towards winning your man back.
Take charge of your life
After a breakup, it’s easy to get lost in self-pity. You feel sorry for yourself and this feeling is made worse by family and friends who feel bad for you too. You need to step back from all this so that you can think clearly. It’s hard to make any rational decisions when you are confused, emotional and upset. Find calmness in the storm so that you can get rational.
Once your courage is restored and you can face your ex with confidence, start strategizing. By this time, you know what went wrong and are ready to repair it. Note that actions speak louder than words and stalking and nagging will not help you out. Instead, your strategy should involve being creative so as to grab his attention. There has to be a lasting impression created.
Some of the things you should avoid if you are serious about getting back with your ex include:
- Stalking him
- Moping around and feeling sorry for yourself
- Drunk dialing him
How to get your man back – steps to follow
Breakups are devastating, especially when deep inside you know that your relationship with him isn’t over. A good catalyst that would help you though is learning to love yourself after a breakup. The more you love yourself the less compelled you are to behave desperately while trying to get him back. Your main goal here is not whether he comes back but an inner knowing that he will come back when and if he wants to. You have to assure yourself that you will be fine if he decides not to come back.
Following these steps, however, will lead your man back to you:
One of the reasons your ex broke up with you could be that he has had enough. Clinging and begging will therefore only annoy him more. Pestering him will make him want to avoid you more. Let the whole fiasco settle down for a while. Being away from each other will mend and heal the rift. Take this time to reflect and evaluate the situation. This will also give him time to think about the breakup and remind him how important your relationship was to him.
Lack of communication may look like a sure way to lose him but it’s a crucial step if you want him back. It does not mean giving up, it just gives you time to find yourself and pamper yourself. Try going to that fishing trip you’ve been putting off, go to a concert or get back to an old hobby.
Physical looks are sometimes the reasons men choose to leave relationships: they no longer find you attractive or they’ve found someone better looking than you. Make sure that by the time you see your ex after taking some time off, you look good. Make sure you are not a complete wreck. Build your inner confidence and go to the gym. Stay away from stress eating. Most women will eat too much and start drinking after a breakup.
Wallowing in self-pity will take a toll on your body and eventually make you less desirable. Keep fit, look and feel good about yourself and this will boost your self-confidence. If your ex bumps into you looking good and feeling great they may realize they made a mistake and fall in love with you again.
Go out and have fun with your girlfriends. This is a hard time and you should not be alone. Get some fun and entertainment in your life and divert your attention from the breakup. This, however, does not mean you start dating again. No, it’s time off to get back in touch with yourself. Find out who you are and what you want. Find a personal way to have some fun so that when you finally get your guy back, you are a fun person to be around.
What made you and your ex fall in love? What distinctive characteristics drew you two together? What made you bond? What has changed? After staying together for some time, relationships become routine. We don’t notice it but slowly by slowly we forget what drew us together. Have you changed? Do you still do the things that made him feel special?
Change is good but not all the time. The problem is that we don’t realize we’ve changed since we are so caught up in issues that are outside the relationship. Find out what brought the spark in the first place so that when you finally get him back, you can do these things again. Make him feel special so that he realizes that you are important in his life.
Leave a lasting impression
Chances of getting back together with your ex may be slim so when you get an opportunity, leave a good lasting impression. Do not spoil your chances by dragging drama into the situation. Avoid begging or being clingy. The first meeting does not mean that you will get him back immediately, but it’s the first step. Have a positive interaction which will help you when another chance to make up comes up.
You can do this by:
Dressing to impress.
Don’t overdo it, however. He knows you and will see right through a desperate act. Your goal is to create a positive impact, not a negative one. Your dress choice should therefore not be a way to rub it in their face. Don’t also under do it by showing up looking all beaten up and unattractive. Your dressing should show that you are still strong. Try and conceal your depression and sadness. It’s hard, but you must.
Do not change anything about you in the quest to look like some lady he is currently dating. He fell in love with you for you. Changing anything about you may backfire on you and affect your self-esteem. The word here is ‘your’. Look your best for yourself not what you think he wants to see or what his latest squeeze is on to. The outfit should make you feel good so that you can ooze confidence from within. No matter how incomplete you feel without him, how you present yourself should be comfortable and reinforce your self-respect.
Your ex may pity you if they hear that you’ve locked yourself in the house ever since the breakup. Pity is not a positive impression since they will not get back together with a needy and pathetic person.
Get off your couch, go out, meet up with your girlfriends and in the process, meet new people. When your ex sees you having fun, they will remember what a fun person you are to be around and this may renew their interest in you.
Try and do something extra ordinary like saying you’re sorry via a cake. Have one of his buddies take him to your favorite restaurant and have the band play ‘your song’. There are so many things you can do depending on your relationship, and the things you both loved. Whatever you do, be mindful of the message. Make sure it says you are sorry and are willing to make it work.
Be ready for a compromise
Whether the reason for your breakup was something you did or he did, be ready to do something about it now. Compromise so that you both can come to an agreement. Being strong headed and stubborn will not help you win him back.
For this to work, you both have to be calm and in a mindset, that’s ready for conversation. Wait till you both cool down, then take the following steps towards compromise.
- Calmly talk about the source of your disagreement. Find out what’s causing conflict and find a way to solve it.
- Listen to each other. Avoid criticizing him and disregarding his point of view. This will rekindle the anger and increase the resentment. Keep an open mind if you want to win his love back.
- Realize that you are both valuable to the relationship: none is better than the other. Let him know that you respect his opinion. When you have a different opinion, respect his and offer yours in a mature way that does not belittle him.
- If you were in the wrong, own up to your mistakes. Admit you were wrong and you will get him back by agreeing to change.
- Come up with a resolution by having both of you offer suggestions. Find a middle ground that you both can live with. No discussions of who won or who lost should come up.
More tips to get your man back
In addition to the above ways to get your man back, here are very important additional tips you should also follow:
Dating the first willing guy is a bad move. This could make your ex happy he left you. Don’t ruin your reputation by trying to make him jealous. Rebounding is not also good for you since you could get hurt.
Be open minded
Dating other guys might backfire on you. It might make your ex jealous or show him that you’ve moved on. Make sure that he knows the door is open by communicating with them. He will not try to get you back if he doesn’t think there is hope or he feels intimidated.
If you decide to date again, make sure you balance the time between being with the new fling and trying to get your ex back. Find a balance between keeping them happy and continuing to flirt with your ex.
What do you want? Be honest with yourself. Be straightforward with your new date too and inform him that you’ve just been from a serious relationship. Inform him that you are not in a rush and would love to take things slow. This will make sure you don’t lead them on the wrong direction.
In case you manage to get your love back, inform the other guy. Honesty will make sure you don’t get into any mess. Besides if your ex finds out that you hurt someone else, they may change their mind about getting you back.
The secret to getting your man back and making him want you is strategy. To succeed, you need discipline and hard work.